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As you can imagine our Nigel is furious with Martin Harvey for holding the infamous Newmarket meeting. Dear old David Bannerman is also extremely unhappy as he now sees his dream of becoming an MEP slipping away. Indeed, David is very keen for Martin to be brought before a disciplinary committee ‘for bringing the party into disrepute’. Suggested charges include holding an unlawful meeting and using the party database to advertise the event without the permission of the Chelmsford Office.

Martin also needs to made aware that at least one of the Newmarket attendees is passing on information to UKIP’s leadership. Invitations to HMS Belfast can work wonders if you know what I mean!

Robert Brown, a member of the Eastern Region Committee, was asked in no uncertain terms why he signed the Newmarket declaration. Realising that his cherished golden medal * may be taken away he quickly backtracked and now claims that he was ‘forced’ to sign it. He has yet to explain what sort of ‘force’ was used. Did Martin Harvey hold him down while Robin Page and John West guided his hand?

Or did he get confused like Michael McGough? Only time will tell.

*Actually it’s base metal covered in gold paint. UKIP’s gold ran out years ago. Nigel used it to buy a desk for David Bannerman.