Is it OK for unmarried couples to have Children?

kernow · 21-06-2008, 12:21 AM

My own thoughts are: There is nothing wrong with a man and woman living together as an unmarried couple, but in my opinion, if they want to have children they should get married first!

HM · 21-06-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kernow

My own thoughts are: There is nothing wrong with a man and woman living together as an unmarried couple, but in my opinion, if they want to have children they should get married first!

I agree. I'm not sure about criminalising couples having bɑstɑrd children, but I think marriage before having kids is an essential step in the relationship, gives the kid value and is vital in stopping broken families and single parents rising in number (as I believe they are doing at the moment; aided by increasing (record?) divorce rates).

Roland · 21-06-2008, 12:58 AM

Comeing from a single parent family, I don't think marriage is everything. But I do think I child needs two parents. It took me a long time to relies this.

A child needs two figures. It needs a authoritarian figure to put it straight and a loving figure to tell it that theirs more to life than it's self, as in a loving, caring figure. I'd say especially from a mans point of view it needs some one not to tell it but to show it how to be a man.

I don't think marriage is the be all and end all but I do hate the lack of responsibility. Life is not easy at the best of times I do think if a person wants children they should realize it's not for filling a natural god given desirer (which it may be argued it is) to have children. It's a life time job.

I'm going to add some thing to my post here that I feel strongly about. While I have nothing against gays as from my point of view what they do is they're own business. The idea that they should be allowed to adopt is beyond me. I've got friends that were adopted and all of them except one have had a real job dealing with the fact they were in they're eyes abandoned. The last thing a child in that situation needs is not to even have a normal surrogate family.

Sorry I know the last statement was off the subject but i felt like a rant.

Westcountryman · 21-06-2008, 01:18 AM

Should couples have to be married before having children? No.

Is it ideal? Yes.

Anthony Butcher · 21-06-2008, 01:20 AM

My girlfriend and I have been together far longer than most of the marriages amongst our friends have lasted. Being married would make no difference to us if we choose to have children, and wouldn't make any difference to our child either.

The only issue that I can see is that it would be preferable to have a family name that we all share.

Most of my friends are divorced (some more than once), and I see no particular value in marriage. I am very happy for other people to get married of course and enjoy weddings... it just isn't for me.

So, yes it is OK for unmarried couples to have children. All that matters is whether the child is loved and raised properly.

WRT gay couples, I think that gay parents would be preferable to a single parent. Obviously there are going to be some socially awkward issues for the child, but that's life. I wouldn't want to use a child for the promotion of social engineering, but I think that society is moving rapidly enough for this not to be a major issue. Again, how the child is raised is the most important issue.

There are far too many kids brought up by awful parents to worry about whether the good ones are gay or unmarried.

Alex McKee · 21-06-2008, 02:20 AM

The reality is that many unmarried couples are having children. The horse has bolted, don't bother to rush to shut the stable door.

Let's turn it on it's head: Why would it not be OK for unmarried couples to have children?

Lack of single family identity. As Anthony said above, married couples pass on a single, or perhaps unified, surname. This is extremely helpful, but not essential.

Lack of tax rights. This, however, is a social engineering construct to promote marriage so this is really a non-issue.

Any more? I can't really think of any.

British-Conservatism · 21-06-2008, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kernow

My own thoughts are: There is nothing wrong with a man and woman living together as an unmarried couple, but in my opinion, if they want to have children they should get married first!

I would agree if marriage was fair to men sadly men risk a lot getting married.
Any divorce and you will lose the lot.
So better safe than sorry don’t get married.

British-Conservatism · 21-06-2008, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex McKee

The reality is that many unmarried couples are having children. The horse has bolted, don't bother to rush to shut the stable door.

Let's turn it on it's head: Why would it not be OK for unmarried couples to have children?

Lack of single family identity. As Anthony said above, married couples pass on a single, or perhaps unified, surname. This is extremely helpful, but not essential.

Lack of tax rights. This, however, is a social engineering construct to promote marriage so this is really a non-issue.

Any more? I can't really think of any.

The anti-male state has destroyed marriage as a basis for society.

rjt · 21-06-2008, 12:46 PM

I am sure that many unmarried couples make good parents I personally would not consider children outside wedlock for myself.

However the past 11 years has seen the biggest attack on family life in what has been a systematic destruction of it during the last 40 or so years.

Those who moan about high levels of youth crime and lack of respect amongst the young have often repeatedly voted in governments who have been commited to breaking down all the values that made this country what it is.

We need to promote marraige as he deisrable model above all others and do what we can to make it worthwile. Divorce must be made tougher and the benefit system needs to be overhauled so as we are not paying people to breed.

We also need at look at why teenage pregnancy and abortion is so high, 143 children under the age of 13 had an abortion inthe last year, why does any child under 13 need an abortion!

We also need to end the abomination of gay marraige and gay adoption, sadly some elements even in the church seem to be encouraging this!

Until we instill he idea of family values back into people instead of handing our condoms and benefits like sweeties I am afraid that this society of ours will remain broken.

harryaldridge · 21-06-2008, 01:10 PM

It doesn't bother me one way or the other. If a couple don't want to get married but have kids then fine.

Evidence shows that couples are more likely to stay together if married and that two parents are best for the child. However, the issue has to be looked at from the perspective on the individual and not statistically across society.

Some couples might have a very strong relationship but not want to get married for wahtever reason - they should of course be allowed to live their lives as they wish. The business of consenting adults is no business of anyone else.

21-06-2008, 12:21 AM	#1 (permalink)
kernow Uber Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5,184	Is it OK for unmarried couples to have Children? My own thoughts are: There is nothing wrong with a man and woman living together as an unmarried couple, but in my opinion, if they want to have children they should get married first!

21-06-2008, 01:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
Westcountryman Uber Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Westcountry. Posts: 5,922 Party: None	Should couples have to be married before having children? No. Is it ideal? Yes. __________________ Manus haec inimica tyrannis ense petit placidam sub libertate quietam - "This hand of mine, which is hostile to tyrants, seeks by the sword quiet peace under liberty."

21-06-2008, 01:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
Anthony Butcher Administrator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Long Ashton, Bristol Posts: 10,205 Party: None	My girlfriend and I have been together far longer than most of the marriages amongst our friends have lasted. Being married would make no difference to us if we choose to have children, and wouldn't make any difference to our child either. The only issue that I can see is that it would be preferable to have a family name that we all share. Most of my friends are divorced (some more than once), and I see no particular value in marriage. I am very happy for other people to get married of course and enjoy weddings... it just isn't for me. So, yes it is OK for unmarried couples to have children. All that matters is whether the child is loved and raised properly. WRT gay couples, I think that gay parents would be preferable to a single parent. Obviously there are going to be some socially awkward issues for the child, but that's life. I wouldn't want to use a child for the promotion of social engineering, but I think that society is moving rapidly enough for this not to be a major issue. Again, how the child is raised is the most important issue. There are far too many kids brought up by awful parents to worry about whether the good ones are gay or unmarried. __________________ If you care about what's in your food and where it comes from, then get it labelled! Label My Food - http://www.labelmyfood.org.uk

21-06-2008, 02:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
Alex McKee Moderator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Gloucester Posts: 6,666	The reality is that many unmarried couples are having children. The horse has bolted, don't bother to rush to shut the stable door. Let's turn it on it's head: Why would it not be OK for unmarried couples to have children? Lack of single family identity. As Anthony said above, married couples pass on a single, or perhaps unified, surname. This is extremely helpful, but not essential. Lack of tax rights. This, however, is a social engineering construct to promote marriage so this is really a non-issue. Any more? I can't really think of any. __________________ Anything I post on this web forum is my personal opinion only. Users on Ignore list: None.

21-06-2008, 12:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
rjt Uber Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Aldershot Posts: 5,481	I am sure that many unmarried couples make good parents I personally would not consider children outside wedlock for myself. However the past 11 years has seen the biggest attack on family life in what has been a systematic destruction of it during the last 40 or so years. Those who moan about high levels of youth crime and lack of respect amongst the young have often repeatedly voted in governments who have been commited to breaking down all the values that made this country what it is. We need to promote marraige as he deisrable model above all others and do what we can to make it worthwile. Divorce must be made tougher and the benefit system needs to be overhauled so as we are not paying people to breed. We also need at look at why teenage pregnancy and abortion is so high, 143 children under the age of 13 had an abortion inthe last year, why does any child under 13 need an abortion! We also need to end the abomination of gay marraige and gay adoption, sadly some elements even in the church seem to be encouraging this! Until we instill he idea of family values back into people instead of handing our condoms and benefits like sweeties I am afraid that this society of ours will remain broken. __________________ Mr Delors said that he wanted the European Parliament to be the democratic body of the community, The Commission to be The Executive and The Council Of Ministers The Senate. NO! NO! NO! (Margaret Thatcher 30 Oct 1990) Ignore List: The Prophets of ST Al the Unelectable.

21-06-2008, 12:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
Roland Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 859	Comeing from a single parent family, I don't think marriage is everything. But I do think I child needs two parents. It took me a long time to relies this. A child needs two figures. It needs a authoritarian figure to put it straight and a loving figure to tell it that theirs more to life than it's self, as in a loving, caring figure. I'd say especially from a mans point of view it needs some one not to tell it but to show it how to be a man. I don't think marriage is the be all and end all but I do hate the lack of responsibility. Life is not easy at the best of times I do think if a person wants children they should realize it's not for filling a natural god given desirer (which it may be argued it is) to have children. It's a life time job. I'm going to add some thing to my post here that I feel strongly about. While I have nothing against gays as from my point of view what they do is they're own business. The idea that they should be allowed to adopt is beyond me. I've got friends that were adopted and all of them except one have had a real job dealing with the fact they were in they're eyes abandoned. The last thing a child in that situation needs is not to even have a normal surrogate family. Sorry I know the last statement was off the subject but i felt like a rant.

21-06-2008, 01:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
harryaldridge Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: West Sussex Posts: 1,912	It doesn't bother me one way or the other. If a couple don't want to get married but have kids then fine. Evidence shows that couples are more likely to stay together if married and that two parents are best for the child. However, the issue has to be looked at from the perspective on the individual and not statistically across society. Some couples might have a very strong relationship but not want to get married for wahtever reason - they should of course be allowed to live their lives as they wish. The business of consenting adults is no business of anyone else. __________________ http://vindicovindico.blogspot.com

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