Millennium3

To be or not to be, innit: Shakespeare gets a chav makeover
By Sally Peck

Generations of schoolchildren have complained of the inaccessibility of Shakespeare's classic works.

However, with the help of a British satirist, the Ali G generation will have no trouble relating to Hamlet's woes when they read: "Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark."

Ali G meets Will S
Mr Baum's chav-speak Shakespeare, which takes its title from 'Amlet's query, includes titles such as Macbeff, Much Ado About Sod All, De 'Appy Bitches of Windsor, De Taming of de *****, Two Geezas Of Verona and All's Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit.

Following the well-trodden path of modern interpretations of the Bard's works, Mr Baum, 48, says his versions, while abridged, remain true to the original formats of Shakespeare's classics, retaining "the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing and violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked."

Mr Baum's version of Romeo and Juliet sets the scene for the star-crossed lovers with: "Verona was de turf of de feuding Montagues and de Capulet families.

"And coz they was always brawling and stuff, de prince of Verona told them to cool it or else they was gonna get well mashed if they carried on larging it with each other."

If the Bard was living today, Mr Baum writes on his website, he would "still be writing in the Globe turf, getting loads of respect from the Stratford upon Avon massive and producing works of pure genius."

Respect.

[Have your say: Pen your own chav take on the classics
Read extracts from All's Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit, Macbeff and more
In Martin Baum's updated version of 15 of Shakespeare's classic plays in "yoof speak", the Danish prince, who is re-named 'Amlet, asks: "To be or not to be, innit?", and Romeo pines for his "fit ***** Jools".]

To be or not to be, innit: Shakespeare gets a chav makeover - Telegraph

Aardvark

Now we will understand the naughty bits which the Elizabethans recognised, but we don't because of the changes in language.

For instance when you are 'in Ireland' you are in a soft and moist place - in one play 'His Lordship' (or Wessex, or Gloucester) is described as being in Ireland when he is sh@gging a wench.

I suspect that the rewrite of the porter's speech from Macbeth won't read well.

Is this someone's little black joke I ask?

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When in Woking do as the Wokes do.

"I do not wish to form my opinions by thoughtlessly quoting others; I wish others to support their opinions by sensibly quoting me." Paul Wesson (Aardvark) 13th April 2008

Westcountryman

This sums up nicely how I feel about Shakespeare:

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Manus haec inimica tyrannis ense petit placidam sub libertate quietam - "This hand of mine, which is hostile to tyrants, seeks by the sword quiet peace under liberty."