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Old 06-01-2005, 09:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Biscuit philsosphy

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day - and tomorrow's not looking good either.

I love deadlines - especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute - if they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

My reality check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

Never argue with an idiot - they just drag you down to their level, then they beat you with experience.

A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

The more **** you put up with, the more **** you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Tony Blair handle this?
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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"Interfere not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup".


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Old 06-01-2005, 12:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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If everyone pulled in the same direction the world would probably tip over.
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Old 06-01-2005, 03:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You Kip, therefore you are rested.
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Old 06-01-2005, 04:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You kip, therefore you are a Nap Man
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Old 06-01-2005, 04:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The thing I hate most about cynics is that they are usually right.
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Old 06-01-2005, 06:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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A Pessimist says the Glass is half empty

An optimist claims the Glass is half full.

UKIP members ask why the glass is twice the bloody size it needs to be...............
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C_steam
A Pessimist says the Glass is half empty

An optimist claims the Glass is half full.

UKIP members ask why the glass is twice the bloody size it needs to be...............
Nice one, C.S.
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