Pity me....

Carl Faulkner · 03-01-2005, 12:35 PM

Name: Bellatrix

Age: 20-odd

Sex: Female - and don't you forget it

Qualifications: 'Uni' graduate with attiutude

Likes: Meat pies, boozing (preferably pints), earning easy money

Dislikes: Foreign words, paying for overseas travel

Intbel · 03-01-2005, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carl Faulkner

Name: Bellatrix
Age: 20-odd
Sex: Female - and don't you forget it
Qualifications: 'Uni' graduate with attiutude
Likes: Meat pies, boozing (preferably pints), earning easy money
Dislikes: Foreign words, paying for overseas travel

If that's all which is needed for a CV then here goes:

Age: 50 odd
Sex: Currently male.
Qualifications: Grammar School (expelled for having attitude)
Likes: BMW motorcycles, mandolin (playing), people and mature blue Stilton.
Dislikes: Booze, television, football McDonalds and the E.U.

Do I get the job?

Thank you.

I can start within seven days.

UKIP MAN · 03-01-2005, 01:17 PM

But do you Know how to clean behind the fridge....

:twisted:

I went out and Bought one of those little Dirt devils They are great for getting behind the fridge.

I gave it to the missus fer Christmas....... :wink:

Carl Faulkner · 03-01-2005, 01:20 PM

Dislike of the EU may count against you but the doubts about your future sex could clinch it.

Intbel · 03-01-2005, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carl Faulkner

Dislike of the EU may count against you but the doubts about your future sex could clinch it.

That proves the unjust discrimination which is rife within the EU and all the more reason I should be employed - to enable the appropriate changes to be made. ie. stamp out discrimination at all levels and in all areas and to expose and deal with the rampant fraud, deceit and corruption wherever it it found.

Naturally, I would need to employed in a position which gives me access to all classified material in order to expose that which needs to be exposed.

One would expect one's remuneration to be commensurate with such a position but this can be to our advantage, for monies I receive over and above that which I need to maintain a basic, reasonable lifestyle would be passed to the U.K.I.P.'s fighting fund.

A card-carrying member of the International Mental Terrorists' Group, I have access to some of the greatest analytical minds available today.

The group's co-ordinator may be contacted by ringing 079 765 340 33

Carl Faulkner · 03-01-2005, 02:31 PM

...just rang it for an application form but was re-directed to the head office of the "Booze, Fags and Skittles Party" who were prepared to divulge the next step.

Intbel · 03-01-2005, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carl Faulkner

...just rang it for an application form but was re-directed to the head office of the "Booze, Fags and Skittles Party" who were prepared to divulge the next step.

You dialled the number incorrectly or did not make any such call - I have checked.

Carl Faulkner · 03-01-2005, 04:06 PM

...tried again - same thing...the sound of glasses clinking, wood against wood intermingled with a chorus of "The Emphasemia Phlegm Sonet" in bottom b flat.

Bellatrix · 03-01-2005, 04:13 PM

You are funny, Carl.

Carl Faulkner · 03-01-2005, 04:21 PM

Why thank you Bella...unexpected compliments are the best ones...

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03-01-2005, 12:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
Carl Faulkner Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 352	Name: Bellatrix Age: 20-odd Sex: Female - and don't you forget it Qualifications: 'Uni' graduate with attiutude Likes: Meat pies, boozing (preferably pints), earning easy money Dislikes: Foreign words, paying for overseas travel

03-01-2005, 01:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
UKIP MAN Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,898	But do you Know how to clean behind the fridge.... :twisted: I went out and Bought one of those little Dirt devils They are great for getting behind the fridge. I gave it to the missus fer Christmas....... :wink:

03-01-2005, 01:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
Carl Faulkner Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 352	Dislike of the EU may count against you but the doubts about your future sex could clinch it.

03-01-2005, 02:31 PM	#16 (permalink)
Carl Faulkner Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 352	...just rang it for an application form but was re-directed to the head office of the "Booze, Fags and Skittles Party" who were prepared to divulge the next step.

03-01-2005, 04:06 PM	#18 (permalink)
Carl Faulkner Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 352	...tried again - same thing...the sound of glasses clinking, wood against wood intermingled with a chorus of "The Emphasemia Phlegm Sonet" in bottom b flat.

03-01-2005, 04:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
Bellatrix Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 625	You are funny, Carl.

03-01-2005, 04:21 PM	#20 (permalink)
Carl Faulkner Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 352	Why thank you Bella...unexpected compliments are the best ones...