Thread: A Joke to brighten your day

Why did the British wear red coats in battle?

During the recent royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British "red coat." Many people have asked, "why did the British wear red coats in battle?"

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him.

Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?

In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers wear brown trousers

BAD PARROT


A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying
only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and
said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in
his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

Subj: Today's business advice.










Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...



One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, 'I'll give you a £100 if you let me have sex with you.'

But the girl said NO.



Johnny said, 'I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. '



She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.



Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for £200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.'



So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.



Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.



She responded, 'The ******* used coins!'




Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Subject: The Euro


In light of the latest problems facing the european currency,
eg Ireland and Portugal having had a bailout
Greece facing collapse and needing another bailout,
a Belgian bank collapsing
and now Italy teetering on the brink
and possibly tipping Austria over the edge...
Should the UK adopt the Euro?

A cross-section survey of 10,000 people in Blackburn, made up of
a representative sample of local citizens consisting of
Afghans, Albanians, Pakistanis, Indians, Poles, Iraqis, Somalis,
Bosnians, Turks, Moldovans, Latvians, Lithuanians, Bangladeshis,
Ethiopians, Russians, Congolese and Zimbabweans were asked if they
thought Britain should change its currency and adopt the Euro.
99.9% said no, they were happy with the Giro.